Archive for the ‘Personal Growth’ Category

Day 15 – Everyday Lightworker Challenge.

So so good and a reminder to be mindful

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WELL PLANNED HOARDING – The illusion of the organised.

Day 12 – Everyday Lightworker Challenge.

Life isn’t always fair and just. Life isn’t always bright and good. We need the bad times to appreciate the good times but more than that they serve to teach us about life. They teach us what we are made of; where our strengths and weaknesses are. They help us to pinpoint what our values and beliefs are by testing them even sometimes to breaking point. The bottom line is, our lives are enriched by the things that hurt us. Unfortunately we often miss the truth of this at the time because we are too busy trying to dodge the bullet or hide from the uncomfortable feelings. In hindsight we can often see that the things that hurt us emotionally have been, in the end what made us change for the better. Is there a way to feel better about those hurtful times while they are happening?

The answer is yes! It may not be easy or quick. It takes faith, patience, perseverance, empathy and love. Let me explain.

There are times in all our lives when we feel as if we have been abandoned. It could be that our friends have turned their backs or just don’t seem to be available to us or understand us. We feel alone. It might be that despite our unwavering faith in a higher power, our prayers seem to go unheard and we doubt if there really is ‘someone’ listening to our words. Other times we might feel the need to shut everybody out and attempt to deal with a problem on our own, maybe because others see us as being strong and independent when inside we are scared and unsure, they really just don’t know us. At other times circumstances seem to be conspire against us, problems mount up and life seems way too difficult to deal with. All of us can most likely recall times like these that force us to question “Why me?” “What have I done to deserve this?” and have maybe forced us to wonder what the point is in being a ‘good’ person when life just keeps appearing to throw us difficulties.

The word Faith often conjures up a connection to religion. A Faith in God or some other higher power. A mystical belief in ‘something’ or ‘someone’ with an ability to come charging in at the last moment to save us from falling off the edge. But Faith is so much more than that. It is believing first and foremost in ourselves. In our abilities, our knowledge, our instincts, our reason for ‘being here’. It also encompasses Faith in life, love, humanity and many other things but without Faith in ourselves it is impossible to see it in anything. To have unshakable faith in any higher power requires a faith in ourselves as well.

Faith is, when the chips are down and we are on our knees, all we really have left. If we have Faith we understand there is a reason to pick ourselves up. We may not understand at the time what that reason is however there is usually a knowing that things will get better, that everything changes, that good and bad come and go. We all know that to be true but when we are in our dark days we have trouble accepting this truth. Once we understand this truth, we are able then to turn what has upset us into something that helps others. The pain we feel can be the fuel that inspires because for every pain we feel there are others going through the same emotions, looking for answers or searching to change things for the better. Without the pain there is no need to search in order to make this world a brighter and better place.

The next time you face a difficulty that gives you emotional pain, look at the problem not as just happening to you alone, but as being a part of life. Think about the fact that this problem is not yours alone, that there are many others facing or who have faced the same or similar pain. What might they have done about it? What can you do to promote positive change to the situation that might help others in the future. Even if is only to write about it in a blog or talk it over with friends, someone might be helped by your insights. Then again maybe there isn’t anything you can do, maybe you don’t possess the skills to make a change so don’t beat yourself up about it. Instead focus on the truth that your problems are shared, experienced, and even overcome by others every day and because of them, both the problems and the people, we are all given the opportunity to see the good in a hurtful situation.

Know Your Dark Side

Posted: June 10, 2013 in Personal Growth

We all have bad days because life is never ever great all the time. We wish that it was but wishing doesn’t make it so. In our relentless pursuit of happiness we sometimes forget that if we stop for a minute and look back at some of our most difficult moments, the ones that had us on our knees (or almost), the ones that put us in a deep dark hole with no clue as to how to get out, we feel so happy that we made it through the dark and found the light at the end of the tunnel. This light was the light my mother assured me was always there, and if we are prepared to confront the darkness rather than running from it or finding a rock to hide under, the light will eventually find us.

It is human nature to want to feel good all the time and we do whatever it takes to make it happen. Unfortunately it doesn’t always involve good choices, some people turn to alcohol and drugs, others keep themselves really busy to avoid feeling anything other then ‘good’. I have used alcohol for this reason and the effect was only temporary, well at least until the next round. My preferred choice is keeping busy, mainly because it never hurts anyone and I seem to get a lot done.

When I fill my time with lots and lots of things on my ‘to do list’, even making the to do list is sometimes a distraction. In fact I looked at my to do list a few days ago and I am still working on lots of ‘things’, managed to have completed some of them but have added more new ‘things’ than ones I have completed. So my to do list is forever growing. Is this a bad thing?? When I die will I have a list as long as a toilet roll of ‘things’ still incomplete? What struck me hard the other day was that I had lost the desire to do any of it. I was overwhelmed and tired of it all.

Some of the bigger things on my to do list include writing a book (with others in the pipeline), finishing my degree, and finding another job (because my present one is about to end). Most would call these ‘goals’ but I actually don’t favour that word, a goal is kicked or scored and I am not kicking anything except maybe a bad habit and scoring means evaluating what I do against the rest of the world and I for one don’t need that pressure. But aside from that I realised that because I had so many things happening in my life I felt scattered, as if bits of me, bits of my imagination, creativity, ideas and just basically my mind, was all over the place. While I was studying, my mind was sneakily thinking ‘I really must get onto finishing that book’. When writing a blog (such as now) I tend to think I am slacking off on other things such as finishing assignments or doing housework (hohum!) This was all driving me crazy.

So just the other day I did nothing, at least nothing on my to do list. I watched lots of television, spent time with my pets, walked, slept in the middle of the day and basically tried to shut my mind off. It helped. I did it the next day too because I just didn’t feel ready to ‘go back’. I consulted the ‘Runes’, something I do every day and they backed me up telling me it was time to look at my past, get in touch with and do work on my ‘self’ and to trust. So I did. This is where I discovered that I was filling my life with too much to do in order to drown out other things that needed my attention. These other things were not on the to do list, they were on my heart and soul list. Things that I had drifted away from that are important to me, that fire me up with passion. If by letting go of some of the things on my to do list I am seen as giving up in some people eyes then so be it. Culling the list is a priority to my wellbeing. Multitasking is not my forte. I am one of those deep thinking, needs lots of alone time type of people. I don’t handle too many things happening at once very well.

So my to do list, although it still exists is shorter than it was a few days ago and I now have my heart and soul map. I am familiar with this map and I know the major roads on it but its the dirt roads, tracks and lanes that I am interested in exploring now. I am not focused on any list or ‘goal’ I am prepared to go where my heart and soul leads me. I have surrendered to something so much bigger than me.

If you have given the Five Ways to Reboot Your Innate Essence a try you are probably thinking ‘well is that it?’ and the answer is ‘No…… there is definitely more’

The ‘more’ requires more effort, but lets look at it this way; you have started climbing a mountain, one you wish to reach the top of to see the beautiful view from the summit. You can choose to turn and go back down……or you can put more effort in and keep climbing. Any journey worth starting requires dedication, however don’t forget to enjoy the climb. It’s natural to set your sights on the end of the climb, the top of the mountain but there is also a lot to see and enjoy along the way.

In Five Ways to Reboot Your Innate Essence we looked at conscious living. We talked about finding things to be grateful for and consciously feeling the connection between your emotions and gratitude. Now it is time to look at that concept a little closer.

  • Conscious living requires you to think about what you are doing; to be present, mindful and aware.
  • Conscious living also involves being aware of your thoughts. These thoughts might be connected to what you are doing or they might be the self talk we have with ourselves constantly. The majority of people’s self talk is negative and criticising, often of themselves. Don’t believe me? Tune into your own self talk as much as you can for the next half hour. I believe you will be surprised how much your talk involves words such as; can’t, shouldn’t or should have, mustn’t, and I have to. Add to this the words we use on ourselves when we do something not up to our standards “I’m an idiot, I should have known better”,  “I can’t understand this I’m just stupid”, or when we compare ourselves to others, “I’m too fat” or “my teeth are too crooked” and I’m not pretty like…..”

So what needs to happen now is for you to be more aware, more conscious of your thoughts. Your self talk needs to be the same as talking with your best and dearest friend, using words of encouragement, praise, compassion and love. You will notice two things begin to happen; you will be aware of just how much self talking you do and, although you might still use negative talk at least you will be noticing it and be conscious of your ability to change it to positive talk.

The rewards for changing from living  life unconsciously to one of living consciously are at times immeasurable. You will notice there is definitely more joy and goodness in the world because you will become more attuned to the ‘small things’ and the richness of life, not so much from material things but more from what is intangible.

The more you become aware of your self talk the easier it becomes to change what you say to yourself from negative to positive. This in turn triggers awareness in other areas of your life. You might begin to notice that you are really not the negative labels you have been using on yourself, and because of this awareness your self esteem can only improve. You really have nothing to lose. I encourage you to give it a try and take the next step.

Here are five simple ways to reconnect with your unique Innate Essence.           

Firstly let me tell you what Innate Essence is. It is the purest form of ourselves. Who we were before being ‘changed’ and ‘shaped’ by others ideas and the information we received about ourselves and the world around us. Finding yours again may be a hard road but the five steps here will get you started.

When your Innate Essence is powered up and glowing it affects you and others around you in astounding ways. It may even encourage and inspire others to find and exhibit their own Innate Essence. It allows you to feel charged up, fully alive, and living life with clear intentions, attitudes and principles. 

You don’t need to experience tragedy misfortune or heartbreak to find your own Innate Essence although these have been a catalyst for many people. We are all born with it, some harvest it, some lose sight of it or ignore it but it is never entirely lost.

  1. Immerse yourself in the emotion. Go back in your mind to a time when you were truly happy.  Perhaps you could meditate or simply relax to get you started. Capture what you were doing, who you were with, what your thoughts and dreams were. You are not looking to recreate the scene, you want to recreate the feelings connected to the scene. Wouldn’t you like to feel that way more often, if not always?
  2. Have gratitude for what is in your life now. Right this minute look around you. What do you see?  Don’t worry about what is missing from your life, what you think you need to be happy, focus on what you have…not on what you don’t have.
  3. Choose one thing you are grateful for. It might be a person, your garden, a pet, your health, or even your car. Take a few moments to think about what it is about ‘it’ that allows you to feel grateful. For example,  “I’m grateful for my car because it allows me freedom to come and go”
  4. Consciously feel the connection between your intention of gratitude and your emotion. Now that you have consciously connected with something in your life that is important and has value to you, you have lightly touched on your Innate Essence. But remember! It is not the object that connects you to your Innate Essence. It is the emotion that comes from being aware and acknowledging you are thankful for what you have.
  5. Step five is simply to practice steps one, two, three and four as often as you can. I started with once a day, usually before I drifted off to sleep. Now I am amazed at just how much I have in my life to be thankful for as I consciously take a moment to register gratitude for each. It will eventually become a good habit, one you can take everywhere with you.

These five steps are of course only the beginning. But you have to start somewhere right?

Interested in finding out more? I will attempt to share with you more insights I have on Innate Essence. I am learning more about my own every day and love to share with others.

Have any questions? I will do my best to answer all of them.